Colonoscopy & Casino

So my good friend Wayne rode the metro to Wiehle-Reston and caught an Uber to the INOVA Hospital in Fairfax to pick me up on Indigenous People’s Day. I was scheduled for my once-a-decade colonoscopy and went through intense fasting and prepping the day before – the juice diet not only cleaned my pipes like a whistle, but did wonders for my appearance and mood.

I actually stayed at the SpringHill Marriott Fairfax, 10 mins from the hospital which turned out to be a great decision. I split my prep the night before and the morning of, so earlier in the morning, I was still prepping on the throne. When the laxative kicks in, it shoots out like a spigot, so I can’t imagine having to drive 45 mins from DC.

Things are different now due to COVID. Don’t ask me why, but I actually had to take three COVID tests before my procedure, including a rapid antigen test the morning of. (the results of the 2nd test had not come in yet – due to the holiday) The procedure went really well and the anesthesia worked like a charm. It was fed to be intravenously and the next thing I know, they were waking me up to tell me that the procedure was over and my colon was as clean as a bone. No polyps this time, and I did a good job with the prep.

“What – you’re kidding. I don’t even remember going under” I exclaimed. And the anesthesia wore off quickly, too. Within a minute, I was on my phone texting away.

Soon Wayne had arrived and was waiting in the lobby. But they wouldn’t discharge me until I gave Wayne my keys and he drove my car to the front door to pick me up. They didn’t want and injury lawsuit in case I tripped and fell. Talk about been extra strict.

We were supposed to go straight home and rest. Of course we had to stop at MGM and gorge on a pizza and beer diet.

I am an unapologetic pizza fan and Wayne and I shared an entire pie baked fresh from the wood-fired ovens at Zizis Pizza in the National Market. You can get them by the slice, but by this point, we were both overly famished.

It’s Brooklyn style pizza – fat slices – crispy, tasty, and aromatic. Fresh toppings – so heavy, they fall right off the crust. This felt good in my tummy and in my colon.

Wayne wanted to take some home, but fat chance.

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